Friday, March 25, 2011

It's Coming

Yes... it's nearing.

The end of our senior year.

I'm sure I speak for both Caroline and myself when I say that we are ready. College will greet us with open arms, while we say goodbye to Lone Peak.

There will be sad farewells. Ones that are truly difficult because we know there will be people we might never see again. I also think both of us can say there will be goodbyes that are okay. People that we don't feel too much sadness in saying so long to.

Last night I had a long talk with a friend in her car. This friend is terrified to go off to college (and rightly so - she has so much more pressure than most of us can imagine), and mostly we just talked about our futures. Even though my friend brings up a lot of valid points (the future really is a scary thing), I am so excited.

We will be independent. No one to make me lunch, to force me to get up for church or school, to persuade me to do my homework. And there is a great opportunity before me. I hold in my hands my entire life up to this point. All the challenges, the mistakes, the successes, the joys, the trials, and the insecurities. And I have the ability to look at this life I've made so far and pick out what I want to change. Those things that I

have done,

would have done,

could have done.

I can say, "I don't like how I handle [these] situations, or how I react when thrown [this]." And then I can totally reshape the way I live my life.

I can try harder.

Of course, I've always had the ability to do that, but it's almost like being in essentially the exact same position all of my life sometimes hold me back. But I don't want to be held back anymore. And that is the beauty of college - a new situation, a new schedule, new friends...

Everything is new.

...I'm not ready to go just yet.

My Senioritis is present, but it's not overwhelming yet. Yes, I could go along with everyone else and say that I just can't WAIT to get out of high school. While that is partially true, I know I'm not ready quite yet.

I'm going to enjoy these last few months of high school as much as I can. I'm going to remember that this is my last chance to be a high school student, to depend on my parents, and to let my mom do my laundry.

When the responsibility and opportunity comes, I will be ready.

Isn't change exciting?

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